My War of the Worlds Sequel- WoTW: Aftermath.

[wotwfan48]

I went on your space Nerphy, very nice, i will check in more to it in the coming days. Bravo. excellent. Chantale. ;D

[EvilNerfherder]

Well, I'm back in the saddle and back to it (finally).
Currently I'm on a read through and looking to see where I can flesh bits out... I should start working on the actual additional writing in the next day or so.
I'll keep you posted!

[wotwfan48]

Happy to see you back on this, you will succed in a big way, And you better keep us posted. hihi Chantale.

[EvilNerfherder]

Ok, the work on the 2nd draft continues.
I will be adding more to the battle scenes and characterisation and have already made a start.
I know I said I wouldn't be airing any of the additions online but for the following I will make an exception.
I have added another part to the Prologue as I feel that the Narrator's experiences during the War should be explained for the uninitiated reader.... so a draft of it follows in the next post. It's not meant to be exhaustive. It is just meant to bring the casual reader up to date and hopefully inspire them to read Wells' book themselves, if they haven't already.
Thoughts and comments welcome as always.

[EvilNerfherder]

THE WAR OF THE WORLDS: AFTERMATH

Prologue II

Whilst my readers will doubtless have had their own experiences of the War, I feel it may be prudent to say a little about my own in order to put the following tale into context. This chapter briefly covers only my own tribulations. For a more in-depth history of the War, there are other, far more learned, accounts available of events that interested parties can consult.

During the opposition of Mars that occurred in the latter days of the old Queen’s reign, observers saw, through their telescopes, strange sights on the red Planet Mars.
First came odd green illuminations, marks on the surface and finally a spurt of green gas ejected into space. Following the last, more jets of gas were seen to erupt from Mars at 24 hourly intervals. The puzzled astronomers had little idea what these strange omens signified. Had they known, much depravation may have been avoided and many lives saved.
My friend, the noted astronomer Ogilvy, showed me a Martian eruption at his observatory one clear night and stated categorically that nothing could live on that barren world. How wrong he was.
As life went on as always on Earth, huge objects sped toward us at tremendous speed through the deep black void of space.

The first cylinder struck, many days later, at Midnight on Horsell Common in Surrey, not far from my home.
Ogilvy was at the site early and by mid morning a large crowd of curious onlookers had gathered. In the afternoon Ogilvy, the Journalist Henderson and Stent, the Astronomer Royal began to direct men in the task of excavating the cylinder. At Sunset, the Cylinder suddenly opened and the crowds moved back, alarmed. Inside the Cylinder the gathered people could see the occupants of this vast conveyance; huge grotesque creatures with writhing tentacles and leathery skin.
After much discussion on how to proceed, it was decided to send a deputation to meet these travellers and offer them the hand of friendship. Waving a white flag, Ogilvy, Stent, Henderson and some other hardy souls advanced on the Cylinder.
A loud drone emanated from the craft and suddenly, the Deputation were turned to flaming torches by a ray of heat fired by the invaders. The crowd panicked and scattered at this outrage, me amongst them.
Soldiers threw a cordon around the Common, whilst, periodically, the Heat-Ray pierced the darkness of the night.

Another Cylinder fell the next day at Byfleet and the Army moved into place to meet it. That same day, the first of the Martians Fighting Machines; great metal tripods, one hundred feet tall and carrying the dreaded Heat-Rays, destroyed the Artillery at Horsell Common. The machine marched on and attacked Woking.
I saw my first machines in a storm on the road back to Maybury Hill from Leatherhead, where I had taken my wife to stay with her cousins. The dog-cart I had hired from the Landlord of The Spotted Dog had overturned as the horse reared at sight of the machine and broke it’s neck. I watched in awe as the machines stalked away. In my study, I saw flames rise in the distance and machines busy at unknown tasks.
An Artilleryman came to my house and told me how his unit had been wiped out and of the destruction that the machines had wrought on the Common.
We decided, at dawn the next day to leave the house; the Artilleryman to report to his unit in London, whilst I would go back to Leatherhead to rejoin my wife.
At Shepperton Lock more machines appeared and let loose their terrible weapons. One machine was fallen by a cannon shell, but the others had their terrible revenge. The Artilleryman and I were separated in the confusion; I barely escaping with my life after jumping into the water to escape the Heat-ray.
Heavy fighting took place South of London and the Martians machines continued their inexorable march towards London, emitting deafening howls- ‘Ulla!’
As I carried on my journey, a Curate came across me. He was of the mind that these creatures that had set upon us were doing the Lord’s work. Perhaps some terrible holy revenge for all Man’s transgressions.
Together, we headed Northwards.
Whilst moving on, we saw that the Martians unleashed yet another terrible weapon: the Black Smoke. This was fired from tubes on the machines and loosed toxic gases at anyone, or anything, in its path. When this weapon had done its foul work, the Martians sprayed jets of steam that turned the gas into an inert dust.

My brother, a medical student in London, had joined the exodus from the City after the reports of the carnage the Martians had begun reached the capital’s citizens. With the train drivers refusing to return to London, and with the Martians fast approaching, my brother set of on foot. At High Barnet, he came upon two ladies in a pony-chaise. They were Mrs Elphinstone and Miss Elphinstone, her sister-in-law and, after my brother had helped them to fight off some roughs out to steal their transport, he joined them on their journey to find a boat out of England.
At the Essex coast, they witnessed the well-reported battle between The Ironclad Ram ‘Thunder Child’ and some of the Martian machines that appeared to threatened the fleeing shipping. With many other onlookers, he experienced the exultation of the initial success of this plucky ship in bringing down a metal monster, then the crashing despair as she was sent to her doom beneath the waves by a counter attack from the Machine’s companions, taking another of the machines with her as she expired.
As the smoke of battle cleared, my brother saw a great black shape soar overhead. This was the Martian’s Flying Machine.

The Curate and I had now sheltered in an abandoned building. Suddenly, a Cylinder landed on the house burying us in the cellar.
We stayed there for many days, hungry and thirsty with the Curate’s rantings become more and more desperate and incomprehensible.
On seeing Martians feeding in the pit – feasting on the warm blood of living human beings- the Curates fragile mind had snapped and he invited death by screaming out his anguish and horror. I, in desperation, knocked him out and he, to my abject horror, was pulled out right before my eyes by a claw a curious Martian had probed the cellar with.
I spent many more days in that pit until I could stand it no longer and I left my prison when signs of Martian activity seemed to cease.
I continued my weary journey toward London where, at Putney Hill, I again met up with the Artilleryman.
The soldier had taken refuge in a house there and had decided that Mankind’s best hope was to take to the sewers and to begin anew down there. He felt that we could perhaps capture a Fighting Machine one day and even learn how to make them ourselves. He had began digging a tunnel, which he showed me. At seeing how little he had done and how wide was the gulf between his dreams and his powers, I resolved to leave him and continue on my way.

London was deathly quiet. In a moment of extreme loneliness and anguish, I decided to end it all. I would throw myself at the mercy of the Martians! I approached one of the machines that stood stock-still and silent. I was not sent to my maker by this thing; the Martians were dying!
In a strange twist of fate, bacteria had attacked the creatures as soon as they had landed amongst us. Defenceless against these insignificant organisms due to their eradication on their home planet, the Martians had literally rotted from the inside.
As they fed on our blood, their fate had been sealed.
The invasion was over!
Now you are appraised of the facts of my experiences so far, dear reader, I will continue with my tale.

[Commandingtripod]

That's really good Nerfy.

I do have one suggestion though and thatis to make the above prologue the 1st Prologue and your other one the 2nd Prologue.

My reason for saying so is that I find the older Prologue better for directly preceding your story.

Anyway, I still find that a brilliant sum up of Wells' book and extremly well written like the rest of your story. ;D

[richardburton]

Damn good, Nerfy mate. It sums up the original story very well in a couple of pages. I'm inclined to agree with CT on making this the 1st prologue.

[EvilNerfherder]

Thanks!
I'm aware there are a few grammatical errors (Rod!) which I have already changed in my original manuscript. Just couldn't be bothered to do it here.
I'll think about the order the Prologues will finally appear in.
Anyone else?

[richardburton]

[Anim8tr]

It's an excellent summery and display of respect to the original text. Well done. Gotta lean with CT and RichardB on the playout though. This reads as a superb overture to an already fantastic prologue. I still feel your first prologue is wonderfully submersive in setting not just the atmosphere and time of your sequel, but the culture as a whole.

Good to have you and your talented prose back again.

[EvilNerfherder]

Hmm. Everyone seems in agreement that the synopsis (Prologue II) should be first. In that case a little rejigging is required at the front end (ooh missus!).
I will look at how to do that or perhaps even amalagamate the two into one.

[ArmoredTrackLayer]

the best piece of fan fiction I have ever read, hands down. I am including the Star Wars books when I state this! Publish this Nerfy! Do it NOW!

[EvilNerfherder]

Why thanks, ATL, but the leap from half decent fanfic to published novel is a big and somewhat daunting one.
Nevertheless, I shall be finishing this over the coming weeks and looking for an agent in the early New Year, all being well. We'll see how it goes, eh?

[wotwfan48]

Nerf welcome back, i just came here after posting in Off topic, i am so happy i did. Good work, you are back.!!!!!! and i am happy about it. Chantale. ;D

Ok i check about the prologue, i anderstand why you put it in the 2nd prologue, it was to show the readers, a part of the first book, to make them aware, about the first invasion, to make them aware, that this is a sequel, yes probably they will read the 1st story, book because of it, I think your idea is good to.

What do you think all of you mates??? Chantale.

Maybe i did'nt anderstand well, what you suggest guys, if so just tell me..

I had to explain at least the end of the 1st invasion, to make the readers, aware, of what happened, to make them know why there was a reconstruction, and why 2/3 of the populations was dead. Chantale.

[ArmoredTrackLayer]

nerfherder said:

Why thanks, ATL, but the leap from half decent fanfic to published novel is a big and somewhat daunting one.

Never know...look at all the Star Wars Fan Book swill that has come out in the past few years...

This totally blows the pants off of them

[Luperis]

Good to see you working on this again, Nerfy.

The second prologue is excellent - a great summary. It certainly does Wells' novel justice. I do agree that it would probably work best just before the first one.

I do hope that you can find a good agent in the New Year that can get this published. It certainly does deserve it. ^^

[EvilNerfherder]

I don't know if anyone is still bothered but I DID promise to post updates from time to time...
I have now actually begun the actual work of fleshing the chapters out and it seems to be going well. I've added more descriptive detail, more characterisation and a little extra dialogue to the first few chapters... if I do say so myself, it's looking pretty good, so far. I wish I could show you some of the amended chapters but, for obvious reasons, I can't. It is taking longer than I thought because I haven't had access to a pc all the time, but that is now sorted and things should accelerate somewhat. The process has, of course, been made easier by the input I had on the first draft from you guys and from one or two individuals in particular who read it in-depth and offered considerable insight and lots of suggestions. Thanks to you (you know who you are!).
All in all, it's going well!

[Commandingtripod]

Excellent to hear from you again Nerfy.

Sounds like you've got it under control.

[Rob]

Looking forward to seeing it matey

[Anim8tr]

Glad to hear the revisions are going well, Nerf. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your first draft and look forward to the second.