My War of the Worlds Sequel- WoTW: Aftermath.

[Luperis]

An amazing end to a fantastic story! It's been a real pleasure to read - thanks for sharing it with us. It's the best WotW sequel I've ever read, and I'm certainly looking forward to reading your next story.

I do wish you all the best in re-drafting and publishing - and do keep us updated on how everything goes.

[EvilNerfherder]

Thank you all for your support! Seriously, I would not have got this far without you!
After a cursory glance through the thing today, I have seen that there is much that needs tidying up and fleshing out for it to be considerable as a finished work, and that is my next job. I'm itching to get on with it!
I am also beginning research on the next story, 'Rememberance', which I know will be much tougher to write than 'Aftermath' for various reasons... I think that, if all goes to plan, it will be a real epic! I don't want to say any more about that, for now, though. I will say that 'Rememberance' will be written, I enjoyed writing this story too much to leave it there. The War of The Worlds isn't over yet!
I'll be sure to keep you posted on any progress.
Thanks once again!

[smitty97]

Excellent, the only downside is, now I can't look forward to the next chapter.

BTW - Is the ending intended to tie in to the Scarlet Traces idea at all? It certainly feels that way.

[EvilNerfherder]

Scarlet Traces? Haven't read it so I don't know what you mean.
The ending is intended to set the scene, vaguely, for the next novel. A teaser, if you will.

[smitty97]

Ahh, right, s'funny because it could so easily tie in to Scarlet Traces.
www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1569719403/026-3831536-4004423?v=glance&n=266239&v=glance

[EvilNerfherder]

What, because of the apparently similar 'steampunk' flavour to it?
Any sequel to TWoTW would likely have that in it, it's inevitable, I think. With all that Martian junk lying around, mans technological advancement would be different to how it turned out in real life. This story, in fact, leads into the one I intend to do next and, as far as I am aware, it will be a totally different story to Scarlet Traces.

[smitty97]

No, it was just interesting in how they could dove-tail in, Your story could so easily prequel into Scarlet Traces.
I realise reding your reply you may have taken my observation in a manner it was not intended.
In now way did I want to imply you were doing anything other than a unique, and highly absorbing, story. I am sorry if you felt otherwise as I have loved your Aftermath story and would eagerly absorb any future stories you put out on this.

Yours is the only story apart from Scarlet Traces that tackles the aftermath. As you say, being what we are, it stands to reason we'd try to assimilate the knowledge gained (and of course, not think of the implications of doing so). So there are common links between stories, it opens up a whole "alternate world" plotline so makes for great story-telling. Assuming the author is up to it, which you most certainly are!

I'd advise you pick up scarlet traces, I think you'd find it interesting, they are wokring on "The Great Game" at the moment.

Again, apologies if you felt i was in any way slighting your work or your next project, wouldn't dream of it, reading this story has been so much fun for me.

[EvilNerfherder]

Glad you enjoyed my work.
It's ok, I don't feel slighted and I understand what you mean.I was answering the observation. I know the idea of martian tech integration has been done before, but I do feel it is probably a natural progression and makes for such good ideas, I couldn't resist making it a part of it, in fact I felt I should.
However, I find the idea of hansom cabs on legs and the like (which I believe ST has) a tad OTT so I won't be featuring those. I'll probably read it.. but not yet, as the ideas for the next sequel are unsullied by outside influence and I want them to remain so. I think it will be a quite different affair anyway.

[jeffuk13]

"So sad how it ends" (white Queen)
fantastic story what am i going to do now

[smitty97]

nerfherder said:

However, I find the idea of hansom cabs on legs and the like (which I believe ST has) a tad OTT so I won't be featuring those. I'll probably read it.. but not yet, as the ideas for the next sequel are unsullied by outside influence

Yeah, I was wary of suggesting reading them for that reason.
I agree about the tech as well, I wasn't sold on those cabs, there are a few "holes" in the comic but it was the first thing before your story I'd read about post-WOTW action.

No disrespect to the comic authors, I think you're handling it somewhat better, I could buy that maybe in 50 to 100 years practically all our tech would be influenced, but as with your story, the likelyhood is, for the first couple of decades, the military would keep their hands on the tech and keep it guarded.

[wotwfan48]

Nerphy, i did'nt forgot you, I have visitors, family, and it is summer, pretty busy, and tomorrow big day, for us, it is the motofest, and the ART of my husband, will be there, i think you can see it, in one of my post, in the ultimate war of the world, on mine. I had the time to read, one, it is really good, as usual, in one way not having time for it, i still have the suspense, of the last chapters. Chantale. ;D

[wotwfan48]

GREAT GREAT GREAT WORK, AND, i AM GONNA MISS, THE READING OF YOUR STORY, BUT I WILL BUY THE BOOK, WHEN IT WILL BE PUBLISHED. GOOD LUCK WITH ALL THAT. AND THANKS FOR SHARING YOUR WORK WITH US.

SEE YOU ON THE FORUM. Chantale. ;D

[obiwanbeeohbee]

Great work, Nerfy. I'll be looking forward to the published verison. If they suggest you look for a ghostwriter to help you flesh the book out, I know an ex-journalist who works cheap!

[EvilNerfherder]

Thanks but I've starated on it already!

[DarkElastic]

I thought when you were writing Aftermath that I would wait until it was finished, so I could read the whole thing in one go to see how the Chapters overlap. I really enjoyed it mate. This story is a really good piece of work, but you are right, you need more for it to be accepted as a novel, and it will need rewrites.

Anyway, there are a couple of points I wanted to discuss:

1. When John Smith meets the Artilleryman in the Inn at Shepperton Lock, the Artilleryman is pleased to see him, but, I would have thought that with John’s story of the first invasion being read by so many, and being so popular, then the Artilleryman would’ve also read it. And if he had read it would he be so happy to see John when he has been portrayed as lazy, with ideas that are impractical, if not delusional. Yes, it is the truth, but I don’t think he would enjoy having this character written in so many books around the country.

2. In Chapter 44 – Knight of the Living Dead (Nice title), considering the knight is struggling to talk, with a dry throat and removed internal organs, he does manage to say quite a lot.

These are just general points I wanted to bring to light. 2 points in a full 1st draft of a story is excellent. I hope you get it published mate.

[EvilNerfherder]

Thanks for the comments DE, glad you enjoyed it.
To address your points;
1) I wouldn't have considered the Artilleryman as the type to read books or fiction really (remember his disdain of 'poems and rubbish' that David Essex so brilliantly dismissed). Could be he hadn't got around to reading it yet, after all... Aftermath takes place only a short time after the War itself. But, that is a fairly good point. I may actually explore that...
2) A fair cop, guv'nor. I didn't make it obvious enough that Cavendish's speech was drawn out and laboured, which it was meant to be. That's something I also plan to fix. There is also a little 'magic' involved in this section that demands that we believe that a basically dead man can be made to talk with the right life support.
There are a few things that will be expanded upon and explored more in the next draft. A few examples;
-The relationship between Smith and Horton needs work. It's a loss when he dies in the first draft but not the crushing blow it was meant to be. There will be much more of Horton and the underground base in the next draft.
-The experimental nature of The Nautilus. I want to explore the uncertainty that men would feel when dealing with largely unknown technology more. Anyone who has seen 'Robotech- The Macross Saga' will know what I mean!
-The relationships between the members of the commando unit the Sergeant commands needs more explanation.
I have nearly finished with the re-read (with some help- Thanks Rod!) and have begun the planning of the additions.
I was originally dreading doing the second draft... I had no idea how I would expand the thing enough... but the re-read has thrown up lots of ideas and pointed out plot gaps and things that can be worked on.
Work on the 2nd draft proper will begin soon.
Oh, one last thing... if anyone is still reading this thread and has read the story, that is. What does everyone think of the introduction of Cavendish's twin brother at the end? Do you think it works?

[DarkElastic]

It works. I like Churchill's clash with him at the end. It might help to add a tiny mention around the time Smith finds out he's married. Just so it is not out of the blue. But, keep the fact he is a twin until the end description.

[Anim8tr]

I think the brothers appearance provides a nice twist right before capper with Churchill. Whos persona I feel you really capture at the chapters end. Again, well done.

[EvilNerfherder]

I've started to set up a Myspace for this project. It's very much under construction, currently, but you are welcome take a look...
www.myspace.com/waroftheworldsaftermath
If anyone has any suggestions, I'd be pleased to hear them.

[EvilNerfherder]

Added more stuff to the Myspace today. It's starting to look pretty natty I think!
Anyone wants an add, feel free. Cheers Ashe Raven!