Post by sunnyrabbiera on Aug 4, 2005 3:34:42 GMT
here is some humor, for those of us who hated the new film:
The War of the Worlds
by H. G. Wells
Book One
The Coming of the... Aliens???
No one would have believed in... blah, blah blah... I am going to set this in modern times so who cares...
that this world was being watched keenly and closely by intelligences greater than man's and yet as mortal as his own; that as men busied themselves about their various concerns they were scrutinised and studied, perhaps almost as narrowly as a man with a microscope might scrutinise the transient creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water. With infinite complacency men went to and fro over this globe about their little affairs, serene in their assurance of their empire.
blah, blah blah...
The storm burst upon us...
ahh brillaint they came down in a thunderstorm!
and Ogilvy... sounds like a name to give to a nutcase...
chapter two..... uhhh
chapter three.... uhhh
chapter five... uhh something opens.... maybe the ground?
Chapter Five
something something Ray
thats it! The main character will be named Ray!
and.... the aliens will use this laser thing! brillaint!
Chapter Six
The laser thing and a road... err okay... maybe we gan go for that, but I need something more...
Chapter Seven
How I Reached Home
okay Ray got home... but where is his home?
Woking? what the @#$%? lets say hes from Jersey... but what about that laser thing?
common I need more!
Chapter Eight
Friday Night
blah blah blah, soldiers... blah blah blah aliens.... I will save that for later, but what are they going to use... spaceships?
didnt indipendance day use ships?
I like those aliens though, this book talked about blobs or something, but I rather use something like those indipendance day aliens...
Chapter Nine
The Fighting Begins
blah blah blah... err uhh
Chapter Ten
In the Storm
now we are going somewhere! there is lightning... there is a storm... and what is this?
a tripod?
lets go with that, but lets have it shoot out these electro bolts instead of that laser thing... and make it turn people into powder... excellent!
and make it squirt out this orange stuff! yes, good!
Chapter Eleven
At the Window
okay theres a window... maybe I can use that later...
Chapter Twelve
What I Saw of the Destruction
of Weybridge and Shepperton
where? huh?
those places were not in the 50's film...
Chapter Thirteen
How I Fell in with the Curate
ah, so there is this curate guy... lets merge him with that ogilby fellow or whatever his name was...
Chapter Fourteen
In London
London... he talks about a brother... maybe I will have Ray have a brother... but screw London, only tose beetles live there... or is that Liverpool? eh who cares, no one reads anymore. they like tem video games...
Chapter Fifteen
What Had Happened in Surrey
no, that black stuff wont work... but maybe they squirt out blood or something... but why?
Chapter Sixteen
The Exodus from London
okay, people are going away from the aliens...
but Londin... Lotton... eh who cares, my film is going to be set in jersey anywhere like that 1920 broadcast.... or was that in 1953? eh, who cares... that radio stuff is dum anyway
Chapter Seventeen
The Thunder Child
well we could have an atom bomb, but they used that in the 50's and that ID4 film...
oh screw the warship thing, lets just have my main characters on a ferry that a tripod knocks over.
Book Two
The Earth Under the... aliens
so this was two books?
I thought it was a trilogy like that thing my bud Geroge Lucas was doing with captain kirk
Chapter One
Under Foot
uhh
Chapter Two
What We Saw from the Ruined House
ah a ruined house! and look red weed!
but that red weed stuff, we can tie it to that blood thing somehow... maybe the aliens use it for fertilizer...
the book said the aliens did feed off blood, so maybe they mulch humans and stuff... sounds good!
Chapter Three
The Days of Imprisonment
days? I am trying to make a hollywood blockbuster here!
lets make it seconds!
and use one of those probe things from the 1950's film...
and have some aliens inside the basement with the humans and Ray.
Chapter Four
The Death of the Curate
okay, we have the main character kill the curate because he was making noise... we can work with that!
Chapter Five
The Stillness
blah blah blah...
Chapter Six
The Work of Fifteen Days
fifteen days?
15 seconds is more like it! i am trying to make a blockbuster here!
Chapter Seven
The Man on Putney Hill
well lets have a hill scene, with the army fighting the aliens off camera...
but maybe we can merge this autillery guy with the curate fellow with that oggilfu guy from chapter whatever the heck it was...
Chapter Eight
Dead London
the aliens die of a virus stuff is good, but lets have some absurd ID4 type thing with a tripod and I will also have one of my patented sappy endings!
screw the rest of this thing, my movie is going to be great!!!
feel free too add
The War of the Worlds
by H. G. Wells
Book One
The Coming of the... Aliens???
No one would have believed in... blah, blah blah... I am going to set this in modern times so who cares...
that this world was being watched keenly and closely by intelligences greater than man's and yet as mortal as his own; that as men busied themselves about their various concerns they were scrutinised and studied, perhaps almost as narrowly as a man with a microscope might scrutinise the transient creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water. With infinite complacency men went to and fro over this globe about their little affairs, serene in their assurance of their empire.
blah, blah blah...
The storm burst upon us...
ahh brillaint they came down in a thunderstorm!
and Ogilvy... sounds like a name to give to a nutcase...
chapter two..... uhhh
chapter three.... uhhh
chapter five... uhh something opens.... maybe the ground?
Chapter Five
something something Ray
thats it! The main character will be named Ray!
and.... the aliens will use this laser thing! brillaint!
Chapter Six
The laser thing and a road... err okay... maybe we gan go for that, but I need something more...
Chapter Seven
How I Reached Home
okay Ray got home... but where is his home?
Woking? what the @#$%? lets say hes from Jersey... but what about that laser thing?
common I need more!
Chapter Eight
Friday Night
blah blah blah, soldiers... blah blah blah aliens.... I will save that for later, but what are they going to use... spaceships?
didnt indipendance day use ships?
I like those aliens though, this book talked about blobs or something, but I rather use something like those indipendance day aliens...
Chapter Nine
The Fighting Begins
blah blah blah... err uhh
Chapter Ten
In the Storm
now we are going somewhere! there is lightning... there is a storm... and what is this?
a tripod?
lets go with that, but lets have it shoot out these electro bolts instead of that laser thing... and make it turn people into powder... excellent!
and make it squirt out this orange stuff! yes, good!
Chapter Eleven
At the Window
okay theres a window... maybe I can use that later...
Chapter Twelve
What I Saw of the Destruction
of Weybridge and Shepperton
where? huh?
those places were not in the 50's film...
Chapter Thirteen
How I Fell in with the Curate
ah, so there is this curate guy... lets merge him with that ogilby fellow or whatever his name was...
Chapter Fourteen
In London
London... he talks about a brother... maybe I will have Ray have a brother... but screw London, only tose beetles live there... or is that Liverpool? eh who cares, no one reads anymore. they like tem video games...
Chapter Fifteen
What Had Happened in Surrey
no, that black stuff wont work... but maybe they squirt out blood or something... but why?
Chapter Sixteen
The Exodus from London
okay, people are going away from the aliens...
but Londin... Lotton... eh who cares, my film is going to be set in jersey anywhere like that 1920 broadcast.... or was that in 1953? eh, who cares... that radio stuff is dum anyway
Chapter Seventeen
The Thunder Child
well we could have an atom bomb, but they used that in the 50's and that ID4 film...
oh screw the warship thing, lets just have my main characters on a ferry that a tripod knocks over.
Book Two
The Earth Under the... aliens
so this was two books?
I thought it was a trilogy like that thing my bud Geroge Lucas was doing with captain kirk
Chapter One
Under Foot
uhh
Chapter Two
What We Saw from the Ruined House
ah a ruined house! and look red weed!
but that red weed stuff, we can tie it to that blood thing somehow... maybe the aliens use it for fertilizer...
the book said the aliens did feed off blood, so maybe they mulch humans and stuff... sounds good!
Chapter Three
The Days of Imprisonment
days? I am trying to make a hollywood blockbuster here!
lets make it seconds!
and use one of those probe things from the 1950's film...
and have some aliens inside the basement with the humans and Ray.
Chapter Four
The Death of the Curate
okay, we have the main character kill the curate because he was making noise... we can work with that!
Chapter Five
The Stillness
blah blah blah...
Chapter Six
The Work of Fifteen Days
fifteen days?
15 seconds is more like it! i am trying to make a blockbuster here!
Chapter Seven
The Man on Putney Hill
well lets have a hill scene, with the army fighting the aliens off camera...
but maybe we can merge this autillery guy with the curate fellow with that oggilfu guy from chapter whatever the heck it was...
Chapter Eight
Dead London
the aliens die of a virus stuff is good, but lets have some absurd ID4 type thing with a tripod and I will also have one of my patented sappy endings!
screw the rest of this thing, my movie is going to be great!!!
feel free too add
