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Post by Lensman on May 8, 2006 0:08:54 GMT
A good friend of mine, who is also a WotW fan, was at an Indian restaurant recently, and noticed a dish on the menu with "Aloo" in the name.
So he asked the waiter "What does 'aloo' mean?"
After some difficulty, the waiter explained in his broken English that "aloo" means "potato".
So! It then becomes obvious that the entire "War of the Worlds" was all a huge misunderstanding. The Martians clearly visited our planet to try some of those famous English fish & chips! They went around plaintively crying "aloo, aloo" but instead of giving them potatoes, the beastly humans fired cannons at them! No wonder they got ticked off and started laying waste to the area around London.
Now this makes *much* more sense. The whole idea that the hyper-intelligent Martians would think they could conquer the entire planet with just seven or ten cylinders is silly! And now we understand that the intended purpose of the Heat Ray was to flash-fry the potatoes.
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Post by beecus on May 8, 2006 8:33:06 GMT
LOL ;D
Some excellent research going on there!! ;D
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Post by Commandingtripod on May 8, 2006 8:38:38 GMT
Yeah LOL. ;D That would explain the heat ray all right. ;D But what about the black smoke?
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Post by jeffwaynefan on May 8, 2006 9:37:57 GMT
It's a well known tradition in the U.K to have a baked potato before any invasion.
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Post by Poyks on May 8, 2006 9:42:35 GMT
But what about the black smoke? Black Smoke is one of the key ingredients of my wife's cooking!! ;D
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Post by Commandingtripod on May 8, 2006 9:54:02 GMT
But what about the black smoke? Black Smoke is one of the key ingredients of my wife's cooking!! ;D Really? Black smoke is what we get after I've cooked something! ;D
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Post by Luperis on May 8, 2006 22:44:31 GMT
It's a well known tradition in the U.K to have a baked potato before any invasion. ... and unfortunately, the martians were not very good cooks. They 'borrowed' many kitchens throughout the UK and began trying to cook said potatoes... but the results were desasterous. Those who survived the choking smell of the failed cooking and dared to mock the Martians' cooking ability would have the completely burnt potatoes catapulted at them.
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Post by D.A.V.E on May 8, 2006 23:09:13 GMT
I wonder what our martian friends would have thought to bangers 'n' mash
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Post by Lensman on May 9, 2006 5:19:26 GMT
But what about the black smoke? Well yes, the Martian attempts at cooking in Earth's atmosphere proved disastrous beyond the results of any merely human cook. What the Narrator calls the black smoke launching tubes were intended to be smokers, like the metal cylinders we use to smoke meat. Since the Martians were unable to trade with us for Earth food, in frustration they wound up trying to smoke some Martian meat they brought with them. Unfortunately the difference between Earth and Mars in the partial pressure of various gasses (such as oxygen) rendered the Martian meat-- combined with their version of "lighter fluid"-- explosive, and the slugs of meat exploded out of the smokers, emitting astounding quantities of highly toxic smoke. However by this time the Martians were so hungry that even after they realized they were creating a catastrophe, they continued ever-more-desperate attempts to cook various types of food in their smokers, but all attempts proved futile so they eventually starved to death.
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Post by malfunkshun on May 14, 2006 0:50:19 GMT
then why did the martians immediately fry the first people they saw instead of crying 'aloo'? possibly they didn't know the word 'aloo' yet. maybe they got a little excited when they saw the apple cart and thought it was a cart of potatoes. anyway, that heat ray was a little too powerful for potatoes i think. they probably realized this, thus the smoking cannisters, but again, like lensman said, they got that wrong too.
and it wraps the whole thing up beatifully if the 'ruddy brown fluid' really was some type of martian ale. possibly they were all drunk upon landing, and in fact, during their entire stay. it would explain why they went around roasting everything in sight, vainly and drunkenly hoping for a potato.
it would also explain why the vagrants on the bridge were so interested in this 'ruddy brown fluid' floating down the thames. most likely they recognized it for what it was, free beer drifting by yet achingly inaccesable.
i think the reason the martians died was not because of the flu but because of severe hangovers intensified by the gravity and heavy air. plus they were drinking a lot of blood from peole who were most likely intoxified at the time. i mean, thats what i would do if i saw a 100 foot tripod f'ing up my world with no hope of survival. get drunk.
so it was just bad luck and lack of potatoes that led to this war. they should have landed in ireland. or better yet, India where somebody might know wtf 'aloo' meant
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Post by Lensman on May 14, 2006 1:38:59 GMT
then why did the martians immediately fry the first people they saw instead of crying 'aloo'? <snip> maybe they got a little excited when they saw the apple cart and thought it was a cart of potatoes. Thanks very much for your valuable contribution to this theory, Malfunkshun! But the entire thing about feeding on our blood was lies, all lies. I mean, if they had no digestive system then how could they have settled in for a nice round of fish & chips, eh? Now the thing about "aloo" being an Indian word and not English I haven't quite figured out. Of course Great Britain ruled India at the time, so perhaps the Martians thought every Brit would understand the word. Perhaps it never occurred to the hyper-intelligent Martians that many or most humans speak only one language. But that's a bit weak... needs work.
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Post by malfunkshun on May 14, 2006 6:43:44 GMT
yes the martians had no digestive systems. but why would that stop them from wanting fish and chips? my liver has no tolerance for alcohol but yet i still desire and consume it. so, i still hold fast to YOUR theory, lensman, that the martians really just wanted something that tasted good. after all, they still had mouths and lips. although Wells made no mention of the martian tongue, logic suggests that if the martians had both upper and lower lips, one v shaped and the other wedged shaped, that such descriptive detail would lead the reader to belive that more description lies within the martian mouth. that is, a tongue that aches for taste. apparently these martians have lived on blood for so long that the need to stimulate the taste buds prompted this invasion of earth. what would you do if you were barricaded in this manner? kept from your natural inclinations? deprived of your rights as a living thing, to experience? the martian tongue is the key to this invasion, if that is really what it was.
i hold fast to the theory that the martians were sick and tired of sucking blood and wanted real food. real food had died out on mars eons ago. they saw real food on our planet. it was like a restaurant to them, a planetary restaurant. we could have made a fortune. instead, we died and then the martians died.
this is actually a sad lesson on the dangers of gluttoney. and alcohol. and using cooking utensils outside their proper domains.
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Post by Lensman on May 15, 2006 10:14:50 GMT
One can only stand in awe and give a humble tip o' the tripod hood to Malfunkshun's brilliant addition of the "Tongue corollary" to my theory. His argument is so well reasoned one cannot doubt it!
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Post by malfunkshun on May 15, 2006 21:37:02 GMT
i never would have been able to deduce those startling facts if you hadn't formulated the theory to begin with lensman.
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Post by beecus on May 15, 2006 22:15:19 GMT
Perhaps they were trying to speak the local language... Possibly there were off course to start with. Planning on landing in the potato fields of sommerset they lept from their cylinder and gave their greeting call.. But before they got as far as saying ''Aloo there, got any tatoes?'' they accidently triggered the frying machine and started a war
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Post by broton on May 17, 2006 11:26:38 GMT
Though along the right lines, I think this theory is wide of the mark. My theory goes like this: look at the Martians. What do they remind you of? A certain versatile brown vegetable perhaps, with added tentacles? That's right, the Martians weren't after a good meal, they were rescuing the potatoes. That's why they incinerated the humans, to give us a taste of our own medicine!
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Post by malfunkshun on May 17, 2006 21:10:48 GMT
that is an interesting hypothesis. another thing martians have in common with potatoes... they both bud to reproduce. perhaps the martian is the evolutionary culmination of what began as the common spud.
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Post by Commandingtripod on May 18, 2006 6:48:11 GMT
I'm never looking at potatoes the same way again..............
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Post by Luperis on May 18, 2006 7:19:02 GMT
Sentient potatoes....? Now there's a creepy thought....
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Post by wotwfan48 on May 18, 2006 17:07:44 GMT
CommandingTripod, I was gonna say almost the same thing, as you. I will never look at a potatoe, without thinking about WOTW again. LOL ,Chantale, cheers.
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